I had to close the door on our friendship, because he kept climbing in through my window.

“I’m no Arnold Schwarzenegger, but I have the definition of a dictionary. If you…”

“We should kill the future, so the present has no choice but to retreat into the…”

“My bed’s as big as a medium-sized apartment in New York City. And my erection i…”

“I took a shower under a fountain drink machine at a gas station because it beat…”