I hate it when I go shopping and leave my wallet at home, in my pants, along with my underwear.

“Love is a bridge between your future and mine. A bridge constructed entirely ou…”

“On my desk are two things: an unfinished research paper due tomorrow, and a goa…”

“I wonder what city Grover Cleveland is from. Probably Cincinnati.”

“The fastest I’ve ever fallen in love is 17 miles per hour. But I was safe, beca…”