I have a handicap on the golf course like you wouldn’t believe. It’s more than a limp, and less than a wheelchair.

“I thought you were her because she wasn’t here yesterday and neither were you. …”

“She said, “What?” so I replied, “What what?” She gave me a look that said, “Wha…”

“If I had all the money in the world, I’d love seeing my name on billboards, bui…”

“She wanted to know if I loved her, so I texted her a picture of a dead bird.”