I have a lot of faith. I mean, I believe I do.

“I’ll throw some dirty clothes under your car and claim you ran over my anorexic…”

“I put a saddle on my salad, and I rode my horseradish to Rhode Island, where I …”

“She gave me the cold shoulder, so I heated it up in the microwave. Sometimes #l…”

“What I thought was a black hole turned out to be nothing more than a splatter o…”