I have a rating system I apply to all people. Mao Zedong might have a Meow Factor of four, but I like to keep my Meow Factor as close to zero as I can. This system is not to be confused with my HV methodology, where I assign myself a Hooray Value of five.

“I’d like a doggy bag to take home my leftover grilled canine burger.”

“I wouldn’t want the guests at my birthday party confusing my celebration with t…”

“I don’t understand open relationships. My relationship is like a normal busines…”

“With issues regarding nipples, I always try to stay abreast of the subject.”