I have a real problem keeping friends. I'm always running out of space in my freezer.

“When all the trees are dead, I’ll be there, drinking freshly squeezed orange ju…”

“I want to be the boss, and have my name embossed on the corner office door.”

“My mother always told me not to pick my nose, so I’m going let the plastic surg…”

“He’s being silent again. Tell him to be quiet.”