I have a rough marriage. It feels like sandpaper, only not as soft and gentle on the anus.

“I often feel like a camel in the mountains, and a goat in the desert. Ah, but t…”

“The best date I’ve ever been on was March 5th, 1982, the year I was born. For a…”

“If facial expressions had fur, then I’d snuggle your sneer. It’s so ugly it’s c…”

“My last name comes after my first name, but it came before my first name, and i…”