I have bread, water, and love—what more can a man ask for? How about pasta, wine, and sex.

“The proper response to “I love you” is never “what, when, where, why, and how,”…”

“It was a blustery winter night, back in the summer of 2009. That’s when we met,…”

“I made plans for 8:00. When my girlfriend told me she was late, I told her, “Th…”

“It’s not true I think all politicians are morons. Morons are far too intelligen…”