I have half a mustache. It was a gift from my father, who bought one with a Buy One Mustache, Get One Half Off deal. So he kept the full mustache, and gave me the half stache. It looks more like an eyebrow than a mustache.

“After we made love, I didn’t want her to leave. At least not before she did the…”

“Should I go up one flight of stairs and then come back down, or should I go dow…”

“My motto: I’ll do it today, or tomorrow, or the next day, or not.”

“The difference between noon and midnight is the same as the separation between …”