I have so much love that it could stretch around the world’s largest dick. But so what? Bernanke’s belt does that every day.

“If there are two witnesses to a murder, you and the guy you killed, I’d say you…”

“Whether you’re being good, or you’re up to no good, try not to look guilty.”

“A brick could be used to help teach teenagers to tie their shoes. Honestly, if …”

“I write down my dreams. I use the excuse “I’m writing” to sleep all the time.”