I haven’t spent my time trying to duplicate my success. But only because I haven’t had any yet.

“The scent of success, it smells like body odor.”

“If you sound like shit, you sound like smell—which is crazy because smell looks…”

“I ought to fire one of my two employees into the other one’s asshole.”

“I can’t charge you 99 cents for a book called 99 Cents For Some Nonsense, becau…”