I just baked a cake in the shape of a door. Somebody’s knocking now, so let me get that.

“A blanket could be drenched in water, frozen, and then enjoyed like a giant cot…”

“I can smell a trap. It smells like my ass.”

“I’ve got a piece of the American Dream. I don’t have a house, but I do have a n…”

“I talked to David yesterday, but since it is a statue, it didn’t talk back. I h…”