I just bought a can of brown paint. It’s more expensive than coffee, but I really hit the wall after I chug it.

“The door handle is on the wrong side of the door. It’s on the inside only, only…”

“The car wash sign said, “Free Vacuums.” So I told them I wanted a high-powered …”

“If I met a man who had eleven sons, the first thing I’d ask is, Are they all yo…”

“I thought I ran over a politician’s dog, but when I discovered it was his wig, …”