I just got around to brushing my teeth today, and now my asshole smells minty fresh.

“I don’t belong to a political party, because I don’t feel invited.”

“A real criminal mastermind isn’t known as a criminal mastermind, because how go…”

“I like food that speaks to me. Food like French toast, English muffins, and Dev…”

“I have pride in my name, because I have pride in myself. I do not represent my …”