I just invented a new light that shuts off automatically when an ugly person walks in the room. Guaranteed to help them get laid. Darkness is the great equalizer. Blind and Deaf Magazine called my product, “Helen Kelleresque.

“I make love like I sell sausages to strange women. One at a time, and always co…”

“Some things change, and some things stay the same. The things that change are t…”

“Don’t go on a ghost tour, because you won’t see a ghost. Well, you might. Maybe…”

“To me, love is either a pebble, a rock, or a boulder. Or a grain of sand, if yo…”