I just wrote the book of love. Well, I coauthored it with Cupid and Nicholas Sparks.

“I saw the corpse, and I called the cops. But not before I called a 1-800 phone …”

“I’ll wait until your mouth is full of food before I ask you a question. That’s …”

“I’ll tell you love is like a pickle, and then I’ll reach my hand into the jar t…”

“I don’t know what I’ll do until I know what you’ll do. I’m proactive with my pr…”