I keep my valuable things locked up. Everybody does. Therefore, criminals must be valuable.

“A brick has ten holes in two rows lining the center—perfect so that you and nin…”

“I like to keep a shotgun in my room for protection. You know, just in case my a…”

“If my name were Entist, I’d probably be a dentist. If my name were Dennis, I’d …”

“Love is you wearing her favorite shirt of yours, just like you did yesterday an…”