I killed a flea this morning. I may have been a bit overzealous, because I accidentally killed the cat too.

“I want to have negative three kids. Or three negative kids.”

“A blanket could be used to teach geography to a sleeping man. Better do it quic…”

“It’s hard to find friends I can trust. Most end up either getting shot, stabbed…”

“A brick could be used as a bottle opener. Just don’t smash down too hard, or yo…”