I know a woman loves me when she leaves me leftovers in the fridge from the date she went on the night before.

“A brick could be used to disguise the fact that I’m blushing. Oh my God, I’m so…”

“I make love like a brick could be used as toilet paper. Sure, it’s rough, but I…”

“I don't like questions at all if they are anything like how I like my mashed po…”

“A blanket could be used like so many poor people get used and then thrown away …”