I know it’s not your birthday, but would you like some birthday dick? It’s on sale today.

“Thanks,” I said, “have a great day.” And I turned to leave. Damn! I am such a c…”

“I’m practically famous. More than eleven people have heard of me. Twelve, to be…”

“She looked like the kind of woman I could fall in love with. Trouble is, she wa…”

“The wisest thing my grandpa ever said to me before he died was "Stop!" Thinking…”