I left Mermaid’s Bar and Grill about 2:00 am, and fishtailed out of the parking lot.

“To save the environment—and my childhood memories, I merged a gas station pump …”

“When I feel sad, I try to think of someone else in the world who is suffering w…”

“I carry a little plastic tub with me, and I put my most valuable possessions in…”

“Look me in the eye and tell me you don’t love a man who wears an eye patch. For…”