I like color commentators. Especially red, white, and blue color commentators. As an American I sometimes feel so patriotic I feel British.

“I would like an extra tight vagina, in a to-go box please. Can I get it with ex…”

“Sometimes I feel like this. Sometimes I feel like that. I wish I could be more …”

“A brick could be broken—shattered—and then given as a gift, a jigsaw puzzle.
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“Mounting anything on a plaque instantly transforms it from trash into an award.…”