I like spending all my time making things with my hands. Mostly I make love to myself.

“If zombies eat brains, then they’d love me, because who doesn’t like a buffet?”

“An invisible wall of super condensed jelly would make a great shield to stop bu…”

“With four tires on every car in the world, there’s too much rubber. All the Joh…”

“I am the egg salad sandwich of love. The only problem is, I’m in the mood for a…”