I love the smell of cleanliness. That’s what the inside of my nostrils smell like, naturally.

“The three of us met to discuss dinner over sandwiches, and I decided I liked th…”

“I was hot so I gave myself a haircut. I then saw a bald man sweating, so I offe…”

“Life: Don’t count the minutes, count your blessings.”

“When somebody tells me they’ve had a bad day, I always respond in a somber voic…”