I love the sunrise, but not as much as I love you. Will you pass me my midnight-black blindfold?

“If a building were shaped like a body, I’d imagine you’d exit out the rear.”

“I think trees should bloom earlier in the spring. They act like they are on a s…”

“I tried telling him without telling him, through body language, and I observed …”

“I want to end my life by eating so much Viagra that I go out like that movie an…”