I made an agreement with the fish. They’d give up their lives, if I’d eat every one that died for me.

“My book is a light read. Seriously, it probably weighs 3.33 ounces. That’s pret…”

“I put the “phony” in symphony. Will you be attending my fake concert? It’s a bl…”

“I don’t know why she broke up with me. I was always there when she needed me. W…”

“The best part about vomiting is that right after you do, you can continue eatin…”