I made her late, so she made me dinner. And by late I mean pregnant. And by dinner I mean marry her.

“I have a fist like a brick, but I don’t punch through walls—I build them and be…”

“The piece of junk is a piece of me. It’s a part of my family, and I can’t part …”

“Some people think nature is their God. I'd like to apologize to all those peopl…”

“I have extremely great aim when it comes to peeing. I can, for instance, manage…”