I managed to beat Michael Phelps’ 400 meter IM time. And not only did I beat his time, but I did it in exactly 200 meters.

“We’re all artists. It’s just most people keep their inner artist locked behind …”

“I inherited a pound from my British uncle. I’d have rather gotten a dollar, bec…”

“Speed dating is great, because when that bell rings, I drool like Pavlov’s dog.”

“Hair grows out of moles, and for this reason I wish I had a row of moles above …”