I meant to spear her with my love, but bad breath got in the way. Next time I’ll spearmint.

“My philosophy on life: On a burrito, the cheese goes underneath the sour cream.…”

“A disobedient child is one who blinks of his own volition, without being told t…”

“I once had a dream about a woman, and the next day she died. I stopped sleeping…”

“It’s a shiny tin can of a day, bright but gray. Welcome to one of Florida’s two…”