I never understood the term “Ass hat.” Not until I misplaced my Fedora, and decided to cover up my disheveled hair with underwear.

“A blanket could be used to trick a bull into charging at you. After you trick t…”

“On a map on my wall I relocated my family to Orafouraville, which is the capita…”

“I dated an IRS agent, and I cheated on her. Not with a woman, but on my taxes.”

“I’m not opposed to new people, I just don’t like their packaging (diapers).”