I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?

“Without an apostrophe, she’ll is just a shell. And I am the turtle inside.”

“After a good run, my legs feel like Jell-O. Somebody get me a spoon and stick a…”

“Twitter—up to the minute minute details.”

“A brick could be used to make love better. Faster isn’t always better. Don’t yo…”