I once tried out for the Girl Scouts. I only went to one meeting. I ate all their cookies and then left.

“Columbus was born around 1492. I say around because before that the world was f…”

“My love is like the shape your mouth makes while you whistle. Would you mind if…”

“33 old people went into a nursing home, and only 34 people came out alive. One …”

“He was an introverted kid, so I didn’t send him to his room as punishment. No, …”