I once went to a Russian restaurant called “Stalin’s Café.” All the items on the menu looked tempting, but after careful deliberation, I decided to order the cook to be sent to the gulag for what I took to be insubordination.

“My ex girlfriend said she’d never cheat on me. Well, she did—with an accountant…”

“If you expect others to think for you, then you expect others to live your life…”

“Don’t be surprised if I try to stab you with a club sandwich sword. I will defe…”

“Of all the smiths from goldsmiths to John Smiths, the most powerful is the word…”