I peed on the floor to get hired. Now I’m the janitor. 


“I’ve always felt that the best place to hide a body is in the trunk of a cop ca…”

“A brick could be used to wash your hands. And after that, I’d suggest you wash …”

“I’d love to work with an Asian guy named Wu Hu, because just saying his name wo…”

“My employer made me take a drug test. I got them all the answers right except f…”