I plan on putting off death my whole life.

“Her name is Today. I told her I’d call her tomorrow. That was yesterday. I’m co…”

“Some men want to go out with a bang. Personally, I'd rather not die from sex. I…”

“I’m trying to assess how many how manies I’ll need to start a baseball team. I …”

“If you’re wearing a space suit, I’ll take a unicrescent sandwich; hold the mayo…”