I poured a compass into my coffee, to give the flavor some direction.

“I stitched an itch to my side. As far as surgeries go, I’m just barely scratchi…”

“I don’t have time to kill you, and you don’t have time to die, because I’m not …”

“I want to open a broken marriage repair shop. I’m not a counselor or psychologi…”

“I’m only 33% patriotic, because I don’t bleed red, white, and blue. I only blee…”