I put the penis in happiness. I put it there, and I can pull it out too. (But why would I? That’s why I’m wearing a condom.)


“Sometimes I still get the urge to stuff asparagus up my nostrils, even though I…”

“While I've never read Scientific American, I'll bet it is pretty scientific. An…”

“Aside from criminology, I’d say archaeology has the highest body count.”

“I practice karate moves when I think nobody is watching. It’s all part of being…”