I recorded the ding-dong sound that shoplifting sensors at the doors of Wal-Mart make. Now I just stand at the exit and press play as people try to leave.

“I want to see an elephant hunt down a man for the sole purpose of collecting hi…”

“Signs offer a way to speak, yet keep the room perfectly silent.”

“There’s a traffic jam in the stream. I’d better go fish up a solution. Too bad …”

“I think it’s important to set goals for myself, goals for the future, goals tha…”