I refuse to dispense chewable advice for free. I’m not a bubblegum machine. No, my fees are 25 cents higher.

“If you drive the same car as me, and have been in a fender bender, I’ll think, …”

“I’m a person, you’re a person, and we should make love. That is, if you’re a pe…”

“Arlington National cemetery is huge! But that’s not surprising, because DC is t…”

“Maybe one day I’ll be a real boy. Maybe then my untruthful nose won’t be longer…”