I respect people who make eye contact (blind people get a free respect card).

“When I wear my confessional glove it’s super tempting to give myself a velvet h…”

“The future seems so crowded to me. All I see is me, me, me, me, me and a millio…”

“You just tell me when and where, and not only will I not be there, but I’ll als…”

“My father went AWOL the day I got dishonorably discharged from his penis.
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