I retired at the age of 25, and it wasn’t until a few days later that I realized that in order to retire you need a stash of cash, and if I wanted to live to the age of 26, I’d better reenter the workforce. Or, rather, enter it for the first time.

“She had blonde hair like spaghetti noodles, and then she went and dyed it marin…”

“Love will make a man do some funny things, like tightrope walking across a tele…”

“I told her I'd wait forever for her, but that was before I found somebody else …”

“I like wearing a blindfold while watching movies, so that I can focus on the di…”