I saw my hero. He was standing at the urinal next to mine. I didn’t know what to say, so I said, “How’s it hanging?” He replied, “Lower than yours.” Ha! That John Holmes is one funny guy.

“The fields of science are full of crop circles that can't yet be explained by s…”

“My next breath may very well be in your lungs. Store it wisely, because my life…”

“If love were a dolphin with wings and a unicorn’s horn, being ridden by a blind…”

“99% of the population is afraid of public speaking, and of the remaining 1%, 99…”