I slept hard last night. I had an eight-hour raging erection.

“The state of North Carolina, Daisy, and John Wayne walked into a bar, and I sho…”

“I can run 50 yards faster than I can mow them.”

“I say eek to Zeke Ekez, the imaginary palindrome politician of my dreams. He lo…”

“I want to be the world’s safest fashion designer. And I always wear my seatbelt…”