I speak Spanish like I chew spinach—like it’s dried bubble gum stuck underneath a park bench.

“It's sad to see old friends have to move away, but at the same time, you know t…”

“Leadership. I separate myself from the pack at such a great distance that it ma…”

“I got some body work done. Both to my car, and to my clone. Now my car looks li…”

“I want to do something for a living that when it comes time to retire and I can…”