I stabbed the intruder with a knife. How else was I supposed to cut him into bite-sized pieces?

“A brick could be used to let that special someone in your life know how much yo…”

“When I get to heaven, and I see a being of light, I’m going to ask him if he’s …”

“The Frosted Flakes sales team once described me as “Flakey.” I was highly flatt…”

“It’s what you do in your free time that will set you free—or enslave you.”