I stitched an itch to my side. As far as surgeries go, I’m just barely scratching the surface.

“A brick could be used as toilet paper—especially if you just shit a brick. You …”

“The fields of science are full of crop circles that can't yet be explained by s…”

“I once made love to a taco shell stuffed with rancid meat and watery tomato bit…”

“The police called it choking, but I called it a two-handed neck hug. That’s how…”