I sure wish deodorant tasted like butter, because then I could keep mashed potatoes warm and tasty in my armpits all day long.

“I admire the Stanley Cup. I’ll bet winning it could provide enough clean water …”

“The two spoons were stuck together. Not because they were sticky, but because t…”

“A blanket could be used to travel to exotic places. Just close your eyes and se…”

“I talk about talking like I listen to listening—in a room with mirrored walls t…”