I talked to David yesterday, but since it is a statue, it didn’t talk back. I have to say, it was a better conversationalist than my last date.

“I wish my erection pointed inwards. But it doesn’t, it points directly at you.”

“My ears are as blind as my eyes are deaf. But my nose, it can see the truth, ex…”

“I carry your love like a backpack. I only wish your love had a larger cargo cap…”

“You don’t need the Bible to tell you the flesh is weak. Just pinch it and find …”