I think I just inhaled a cloud. That’s what I get for not wearing a gas mask while riding my Pegasus.

“My wife won’t talk to me, but that’s OK, because it’s not like I’d listen if sh…”

“I want to keep a human mouth on my coffee table. It’ll be a great conversation …”

“The couch was green, so I felt comfortable wiping my boogers on it. I just wish…”

“Murdering a mute to silence him is overkill.”