I think someone should invent an edible remote control, to go along with TV dinners.

“You don’t need the Bible to tell you the flesh is weak. Just pinch it and find …”

“Dancing? Not only do I have two left feet, but they’re different sizes. And I d…”

“I’ve demanded of myself to be more demanding of others.”

“This is a pickup line that’s sure to not work: I want to inquire if you’re in c…”